Starting my Tour de France Reading Regime

It's a quiet, cold Saturday morning outside. After several days of rain, it's also–finally–very sunny. Normally I would jump on the bike on a sunny Saturday morning, but this felt like the perfect time to brew a pot of coffee and finally start reading the book that is going to help me win this year's Tour de France (Ask and It is Given, by Esther and Jerry Hicks).

The book's forward is by a guy who's been on TV a lot. His name is Wayne Dyer. I read his book called Your Erroneous Zones when it was first published back in 1976. I was a senior in high school and I thought it had a lot of good thoughts on avoiding negative and useless thoughts, which high school kids have plenty of. High school kids also have pretty limited vocabularies, so some of my less-than-brilliant classmates assumed Wayne was talking about erogenous zones, so they would snicker when they saw my book. Anyway, Wayne wrote the forward to Ask and It is Given because Abraham asked him to. (Remember, Abraham is the spirit that Esther channels.)

My [generally irreverent] writing style may lead you to believe that I'm not expecting anything great out of this book. You would be wrong. I'm a big dreamer and a big believer in possibilities. I love cycling, and I dream of flying up hills faster than Alberto Contador can. I visualize riding again this fall with my buddy George Hincapie and dropping him on the climb up Paris Mountain. In the book's forward, Wayne Dyer gives me hope. He talks about Source Energy, which is apparently the highest/fastest energy in the universe. (When you see words like these capitalized, you know they must be important.) I really want to get out and ride today before the rain returns, but I need to stop writing, pause on the riding, and start reading again to figure out how to get some Source Energy into my water bottles and pumping in my veins.

I'll be REALLY bummed if WADA or the UCI adds "Source Energy" to their list of banned substances. I wonder how they'd test for it. I'm sure those clever French lab technicians will find a way, especially since I'm going to be yet another abominable American Tour de France winner.