Thursday, February 11, 2010

Every Desire is Given, Every Wish Is Granted

The Planet Ultra climbing camp in the beautiful Santa Monica Mountains was great. It was fun to see George Hincapie again. Fellow campers surely thought it was strange that he actually knew my name. He seems happy with his new BMC Racing Team. It was also amusing to watch the camp's ladies put a capital "C" in "Cougar." Every time the BMC squad was in a conference room eating or stretching, the old (like, almost as old as I am) girls were buzzing around the lobby and hallways like locusts. Now we're all back at work and the BMC boys are racing in the Tour of Qatar. Ah, the joys of youth and superior genes + endless training.
It's been a long two weeks since the camp. On the Tuesday after I got back, I came down with a cold. The mystical spirit armada called "Abraham" (in Esther & Jerry Hicks' book Ask and It Is Given) would have you think that it was my own fault that I got sick. Abe would say that I was either NOT thinking enough about myself being healthy, or I was thinking too much about NOT catching a cold. So, through the Law of Attraction (made so famous in the book and movie called The Secret) I made myself sick. I stand accused of CHOOSING to get sick. Well, I was having none of those thoughts and I have a different theory about why I caught a cold, but I won't bother explaining it because Abe is so old he doesn't even know what a virus is.
When I pause between salvos of phlegm missiles fired out of my lungs, I'm thinking completely healthy thoughts. I'm dreaming of climbing like Contador and flying like Fabian in the time trials. Since I finished the first phase of a research project I'm working on, I also read a little more in Ask and It is Given. (Yes, this diary entry is one in a long series studying this book.) The book is getting really good now, but there is a phrase that may cause the Tour de France race officials some concern. Since they're French and I'm American, they may try to use it as an excuse to DQ me from this year's Tour de France. Chapter 8 in the book is titled, "You are a Vibrational Transmitter and Receiver." If you followed last year's race, you know the officials toyed with having a day or two where the teams could not use their race radios to communicate with the cyclists. I'll need to read up on what they're planning this year and get my attorney to work on this one.
"But wait, there's more!" Chapter 10 starts out super-juicy. Abraham finally gets to the complex steps in achieving the book title's claims: (1) You ask. (2) The answer is given. (3) You "allow" the answer to happen by letting it in. Psha! If I knew it was that easy, I would have asked for 8 Tour de France victories and not just one. Abe goes on to say that every prayer is answered, every wish is granted, and every desire is given, but most people screw up on the 3rd step because they don't tune the vibrational frequency of their being with the vibrational frequency of their desires.
Whatever. I didn't get greedy by asking for 8 tour victories quite yet. I decided to put Abraham's theory to the test on another short-term experiment like the poker game a couple weeks ago. This time I asked to have Eva Mendes come over to my house to cook a hot meal of Arroz congri, bringing along Keira Knightly Cameron Diaz, Scarlett Johannson, Jessica Biel, and Katherine Heigl to make appetizers, desert, and drinks. I wouldn't drink before they got here…I learned from the poker game spiral. But once they got here I figured it would be OK to share some drinks with the girls.
Well, wouldn't you know it? I screwed up step 3. I didn't let them in. I figure they must have come over and rang the doorbell right when I went out on the deck to turn up the heat in the Jacuzzi!! I didn't hear the damn doorbell. And I can't hear Abraham saying "I told you so," but I'm sure Esther Hicks can.
Ugh! I hope I don't find a rule like "you can't make the same wish twice" in a later chapter. This wish is worth trying again. I even think my wife and kids would get a kick out of having these famous ladies over for some good ol' rice and beans. I'd just get Abe's spiritual help working over any rough edges with the missus.
I've learned my lessons well: (1) Don't consume alcohol until your wish is granted, and (2) Make sure you're within earshot of the doorbell when your wish is being granted so you can "let it in."